Amnesia
by RedYellow11
Summary: Quinn's life is starting to look up, but one morning, she wakes up and everyone and everything in her life is completely different, making her question if she was ever truly happy. Faberry. Spoilers through New York. Rating may go up.
1. April 13, 2012

A/N: I've wanted to do a story like this for a while. I finally got a solid enough idea, so I started writing.

A/N 2: For everyone reading my other stories, they're still my top priorities. This has just been added to my update rotation.

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><p>There were a lot of things in my life that weren't perfect. I'd gotten pregnant at sixteen, my father had disowned me, I'd been kicked off of the Cheerios, and the boy that I thought I would marry ended up falling in love with a dwarf . My life had it's share of rough patches.<p>

Still, things were starting to look up. I was dating Sam, which was a boost to my popularity. Sure he was only second string, and we didn't really have much going on in the way of attraction, but it was better than being alone. Plus, I was back on the Cheerios and at the top of the pyramid (even though I had to stab Santana in the back to get there...oh, well. Casualties of war), and the glee club won sectionals, led in by a duet by Sam and me. To top it all off, not only had I taken Rachel's spotlight in the competition, her relationship with Finn had completely fallen apart. My life was on the upswing, and without Finn, Rachel would start being tormented even more than she already was. All was right with the world once again.

When I saw Rachel get slushied two days before Christmas break, I laughed with everyone else. She ran off to the bathroom, and I followed her, planning on twisting the knife a little bit. When I saw her gripping the edge of the sink and bawling her eyes out, I faltered a little.

"Why do they hate me?" she said to herself in the mirror. "I haven't done anything wrong. I try to be good to people. I try to be nice. Why don't they like me?"

"Because you're obnoxious," I said, and she spun around. She wiped away a few tears and some slushie off of her face. "You talk too much, you throw a fit whenever anyone else gets a solo, you plot and scheme to make sure no one else gets any of the attention you think you deserve, and, to top it all off, you're a boyfriend stealer."

Rachel opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find words. I felt a little satisfaction at the fact that I'd made Rachel Berry speechless...even if it was only for a moment.

"Did you follow me in here just to make me feel worse?" she asked. "Isn't it enough that you started all this torture in the first place?" I had. Freshman year, I'd seen Rachel standing by her locker, minding her own business, and I'd grabbed a slushie from a passerby and thrown it in her face, calling her Manhands as I'd walked away. "I know that we have some issues between us because of Finn, but this started way before that. You've hated me since the moment you met me, and I just want to know why."

I didn't really know what to say. It's true; I'd always felt this urge to make sure that Rachel was at the bottom of the heap. I didn't want anyone to think that she was pretty or special in any way, but now that I thought about it, I didn't really know why. I'd always blamed it on her trying to take everything from me, but she hadn't been doing anything to me that first day.

I just shrugged. "Do I really need a reason?"

I saw fresh tears well up in her eyes. "No...no I suppose you don't." The way she said it...she sounded so broken...I felt the need to apologize. It didn't make any sense, so I pushed it down and walked out of the bathroom without another word. For the rest of the day, I couldn't help feeling guilty. Rachel really hadn't done anything wrong. People hated her because she was different and they were jealous of her. Sure, she ran her mouth a lot, but that's no reason for someone to be actively singled out as much as she has.

Instead of being mature and dealing with my new found guilt, I ignored it, spend the rest of my day with Sam (I let him get a little further than usual,but he still wasn't anywhere near third base. Hell, he was barely on second), then went to bed and hoped that all these feelings would pass in the morning.

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><p>My next morning started with me rolling out of bed onto my floor.<p>

"Damn it!" I yelled at I landed hard on my arm. I could already tell today wasn't going to be a good day. I got off the floor and went to my closet to lay out my Cheerios uniform before I jumped in the shower...except my uniform wasn't there. I looked around my room for a good ten minutes before giving up. I decided to call Santana and ask if I could borrow one of hers. Even if we weren't exactly friendly at the moment, she was well aware of the punishment that would happen to us if we didn't all have our uniforms.

I called her cell phone a few times, but she didn't answer. I started to panic. I thought about calling Brittany, but then I remembered that she only had one uniform (she said the others were stolen by uniform gnomes, who were cousins of the underpants gnomes...a glare from Santana told me to not question it any further). I decided to try Santana's house number. I wasn't quite sure I remembered it, but I tried it anyway.

"Hello?" a voice on the other end said after a few rings.

"Mrs. Lopez?" I asked.

"This is she."

I sighed in relief. "Oh, thank God. This is Quinn Fabray. Is Santana home? It's a bit of an emergency."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. I thought the call had been disconnected, but finally, Mrs. Lopez said, "You think that's funny? Don't call here ever again." With that, she hung up the phone. I closed my phone, confused about what had just happened.

"I guess that was the wrong number," I said to myself. I didn't know that there were other Lopez's in our area code, but I just brushed it off and went into my bathroom to take a shower. The water had a calming effect on me. That is, until I went to wash my hair. When I went to put the shampoo on my head, I felt like there was something missing...about six inches of something missing. I jumped out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror.

"Where...what..." I couldn't form a complete thought. My hair was gone. Sure, I wasn't bald or anything, but it was still horrifying. I wanted to scream or cry or something, but I just focused on not hyperventilating. I dried the little bit of hair left, threw on some random clothes, then ran downstairs, hoping to catch my mom and ask her if she'd seen Santana at all last night. This had to be her pulling a prank on me or something. Sure, she'd done a really good job, but it was still my hair! She had no right!

I heard my mom downstairs in the kitchen. "Mom!" I yelled, but when I came around the corner, she wasn't the one standing there.

It was my dad.

"Quinn," he said with a smile. "Good morning."

"What're you doing here?" I almost spat out. He sighed.

"I really do hope that you forgive me someday," he said, and I scoffed.

"Why should I ever forgive you? After everything you did to mom and me-"

"I know," he said. "I've worked through a lot of that with your mother, and I'd like to work it out with you, too," he said. "Only when you're ready, though. I know these things take time. Well, I made breakfast if you want anything. It's fruit salad. I know how you are about your weight and everything, even though I think you're just fine as it is, and-"

"I'm...I'm going to school now," I said, grabbing my stuff and walking out the door. Since when had my parents been speaking to each other? Since when had my dad ever tried to earn anyone's forgiveness? That wasn't the Russel Fabray way. No, Russel Fabray was never wrong, and he spent his life passing judgment on others. I could feel a headache coming on, and I hoped seeing Sam would make things a little better. When I got into the building, I couldn't find Sam, but Santana was standing near my locker. I decided to give her a piece of my mind.

"Hey, bitch," she said as I walked closer. "How'd last night go?"

"What the hell did you do to my hair?" I said.

"What, you don't like it?" she asked. "You were raving about it yesterday."

"Don't be cute," I snapped out. "It's...it's...short!"

"Well, yeah, I cut it a little shorter than usual, but only, like, a fraction of an inch. Isn't that what you asked for?"

"What?" I asked, confused, then I looked down at what she was wearing. I felt a little relieved that she wasn't wearing her uniform. "Did Coach call a no-uniforms day or something? She must be getting laid or something."

Santana just looked at me confused. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I just...to tell you the truth, no. I've had a really weird morning," I said. "I tried to call you this morning, but you weren't answering your cell, so I tried the house number, and I think I got it wrong."

"I didn't even know you knew the house number," Santana said. "I don't even remember it. I forgot we even had a house phone."

I shrugged. "I never use mine, either. Anyway, I could've sworn I got it right, but I asked for Mrs. Lopez, and she said it was her, but when I asked for you, she freaked out."

"Wait, did you call my parents' number?" I nodded, and her eyes went wide. "Do you have some sort of death wish? They hate us, remember?"

"Since when?" I asked, but Brittany walked up before Santana could answer.

"Hey, Quinn," she said with a wave. "Hey, baby."

"Hello, beautiful," Santana said before pulling Brittany into a kiss. My eyes about bugged out of my head. Sure, I knew they were hooking up, but this was the middle of the hallway, and they hadn't flagged down any boys beforehand. Besides, them making out was more of a party trick then an everyday attention seeker.

"What're you guys doing?" I finally asked. "People can see you!" They pulled apart.

"So?" Santana said, pulling Brittany back in. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't notice me put my stuff in my locker and walk away. So what did that mean? Were they official now or something? They looked so...happy. Last I'd heard, Santana was trying to win Finn over now that he and Rachel were through. Maybe Brittany and Santana had talked things out? Although Santana wasn't my favorite person in the world, I couldn't help but feel happy for them. I'd had a feeling for a while that they were in love. It was nice that they'd figured all that out.

I just needed to figure out why I felt so out of the loop on everything. Was I really so wrapped up in myself that I hadn't noticed all these little developments until today? It was certainly possible. I decided that I needed to find Sam. He would know how to make me feel better. When I finally saw him by his locker, I was a little confused. His hair looked a little longer than I remembered. Maybe I was more self-centered than I'd thought I was. I made a note to myself to be more observant, then walked up to him.

"Hey, Quinn," he said with a huge smile as I walked towards him. He grabbed me into a hug when I was close enough. This was nice. This was familiar. I pulled away after a few seconds and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Watch it, now, don't wanna make anyone jealous."

I smiled at him. "They should be jealous. We're the two best looking people at this school."

"Well, we're definitely up there," he said, goofy grin still in place. "Hey, are we still on for this weekend?"

I nodded, even though I didn't really remember making plans with him. "Refresh my memory; what're we doing again?"

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, with his eyebrow raised. "You've been looking forward to this for, like, a month." I racked my brain, trying to remember anything, but I was coming up blank.

"Sorry, babe. I've got nothing," I finally said.

"Babe? That's...weird. Anyway, the new Call of Duty comes out tomorrow, and Puckerman pre-ordered it. You, me, Puck, and Santana were gonna hang out all weekend playing while the girls cheer us on, remember?"

"I...what?" Nothing that just came out of his mouth made any sense.

"Oh, don't tell me you're bailing. You're our captain! Well, technically, Puck's our captain, but you're the one that keeps him and Santana from doing stupid stuff because they're cocky." He laughed a little. "Remember that one time they-"

"Sam!" I yelled, getting his attention. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I was hoping that we could just spend the weekend together. Just the two of us." I trailed my hand up and down his arm. He looked a little panicked for a second before he finally relaxed and smiled.

"Okay, I get it now," he said, and I smiled, glad that I'd finally gotten through his bleached-blonde head. "Puckerman put you up to this, right? He's always trying to mess with my head right before a tourney. It's like we're not on the same team. You had me for a second."

"What's going on?" Mercedes asked, looking at my hand on Sam's arm.

"Oh, nothing," Sam said, stepping away from me and putting his arm around her. "Puck asked Quinn to hit on me to freak me out before this weekend." Mercedes looked between the two of us a few times before bursting out laughing.

"Oh, wow," Mercedes said. "Girl, you had me worried that you'd changed teams again for a second. I should've known you wouldn't do me like that." I just stood there, not saying a word. What was I supposed to say? My boyfriend had his arm draped around another girl like it was the most natural thing in the world. I didn't even know that Sam and Mercedes had ever spoken.

"I have to...bathroom," I said, hurrying away. Nothing was making sense. My dad was back? Brittany and Santana were a couple? Sam and Mercedes were hooking up behind my back...and now decided it was alright to rub it in my face? My hair was gone? I played Call of Duty? Nothing was adding up, no matter how hard I tried.

"Maybe someone drugged me," I said out loud to myself. "That...that has to be it."

"Quinn?" I heard someone say as they walked into the bathroom. I looked through the mirror, and there was the last person that I wanted to see at the moment.

Rachel Berry.

"Great," I said under my breath. "Just what I needed."

"Are you alright?" she asked me, walking closer and putting a hand on my cheek. My first instinct was to swat it away, but it was oddly calming, so I let it stay. "Santana said you were acting weird."

"I'm not acting weird," I said, leaning a little into her hand against my will (it just felt too good). "The rest of the world is acting weird."

"This isn't about...this isn't about yesterday, is it?" she asked. I figured she was talking about our fight...or whatever it was.

"That didn't mean anything," I said. "Just forget it happened."

Rachel snatched her hand away. "What...what are you saying."

"Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you yesterday-"

"You didn't," she said in a hurry. "You were very gentle."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? I decided to ignore it and just move on.

"Anyway, I'd just like it if we could move on," I said. "I don't...I don't like seeing you like that."

Rachel recoiled and took a few steps away from me. I was trying to apologize, and she was freaking out. What was I saying wrong?

"You didn't...you didn't seem to mind how I looked so much last night," she said with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry if I don't meet your standards. I would've worked to make myself look better, but you've always told me I was beautiful, so I thought you liked how I looked. Did I look...fat or something?" She crossed her arms over her stomach. "Artie once told me that when I bend over I have fat rolls. I know my body isn't in shape like yours, but I try."

"Wait, what? You're not fat."

"Then was it my breasts?" she said, and I couldn't help but look at her chest.

"No, you're chest is fine," I said, having a surprising amount of difficulty looking away. "What does this have to do with yesterday?"

"You...you said it didn't mean anything. You said I didn't look good. We...we made love for the first time, and it was amazing for me, and I thought it was for you as well, but it seems that you weren't as satisfied. I'm sorry. I'll...I'll do everything I can to make sure that next time things are better."

My mouth had gone completely dry. Rachel...Rachel was saying that we'd slept together?

"Okay, what the fucking hell is going on!" I yelled and she flinched. "We didn't do anything like that last night!"

Tears were pouring down her face at this point. "Did we go too fast? Is that why you're denying it? I thought...I thought that since you told me you loved me, and you were the one to start it...I should've known that you were just trying to do what I wanted-"

"Stop!" I yelled again. "I don't love you!"

Rachel looked like I'd stabbed her in the chest. "Quinn, I know that you're panicking about last night, but please, don't do this. Don't deny me all together."

"Rachel, I don't know what goes on in that sick, twisted head of yours, but I don't love you. I never loved you, so just leave me the fuck alone!"

She looked at me for a second before running out of the bathroom, struggling for breath between sobs. I hadn't meant to hurt her like that. I'd actually wanted to make amends for the moment when she'd walked in the bathroom, but she just kept saying things that didn't make sense. Just like everyone else. I pulled out my phone and decided to have my mom come pick me up. Something was definitely wrong, and I just wanted to lie down and sleep for a few hours...or days. It's when I looked at the date on my phone that things got even weirder.

Right there, on the front of my phone, clear as day, it said: _April 13, 2012._

I stared at my phone for a few minutes before I passed out.


	2. Other Quinn

A/N: Okay, I forgot to say that this story started around the time of A Very Glee Christmas. Everything through New York is cannon, and everything after that will be made up as I go along.

A/N 2: This chapter is sort of filler and super wordy and over explainy, but I just wanted to get the backstory out of the way so I could get to the meat of the story. Enjoy and continue to R&R :)

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><p>When I woke up, I was in the nurses office, and Santana was sitting next to me. I hoped that my morning had just been the result of a drop in Cheerios practice. I reached up to touch my hair, hoping that it was its normal length.<p>

No such luck.

"Great, you're awake," Santana drawled out. "Although, I think I'd prefer it if you'd split your head open in that bathroom."

"Shut up, Santana," I snapped out. At least somethings didn't change.

"No," she said back to me. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but because of you, one of my best friends came running to me, barely able to breathe because she was crying so hard."

I rubbed my temples with my fingers. "I have a headache."

"I don't care," she said. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Did I, like, insult Brittany, and I can't remember?" I tried to think of a reason Brittany would be crying because of me. Before I could think of anything, Santana smacked me on the forehead. "Ow! What the fuck was that for?"

"I'm not talking about Brittany, you dumbass! I'm talking about Rachel! You have no idea how much you hurt her when you said all that stuff. You seemed super excited about it when you called me last night, so why the fuck would you say that?"

"Since when are you and Rachel friends? Aren't you trying to steal her boyfriend or something?"

Santana looked at me like I was going crazy. "Is this a joke or something? I haven't tried to steal anyone's boyfriend since I started dating Brittany. And that's not even the point-"

"Yeah, I meant to ask you about you and Brittany. When did that happen?" Santana's face just scrunched up. "Not that I mind. It's actually sort of sweet, it just seems sort of sudden. Wasn't she dating Artie and wishing to Santa for him to walk a few days ago?"

Santana's face softened. "Quinn...I think you hit your head in that bathroom harder than I thought. Maybe we should try a hospital or something."

I shook my head. "What're you talking about? I just have a little headache, and that's just because everyone's gone crazy. My mom is suddenly talking to my dad again, you and Brittany started dating, Mercedes and Sam apparently have a thing going on. I don't know why he'd think that was okay. Rachel's gone even crazier than she already was-"

"Quinn," Santana interrupted me. "Do...do you think you're dating Sam?"

"No," I said, and she looked relieved. "At least I'm not anymore. I haven't had the chance to really break up with him yet, but after this crap that he's pulled-"

"Quinn, you're not dating Sam," she said, a little panicked.

"Yeah, like I said, he and Mercedes were seeing each other behind my back. I don't know if this was his weird way of telling me...you'd think Mercedes would talk him out of that. I mean, she's my friend...or she was my friend until she stole my man."

"No, Quinn, you aren't getting it. You're not dating Sam. You haven't dated Sam since junior year."

"We are juniors, half-wit," I spat out.

"No...no we aren't. We're seniors, Quinn. We're actually pretty damn close to graduating. You and Rachel are competing for valedictorian."

I scoffed. "Of course Manhands is trying to steal something else I want."

"Don't call her that," Santana said. "And did you hear anything else I said to you?" It took a minute for what she was saying to sink in.

"So...what you're saying is that I don't remember the last almost year and a half of my life?"

"Um...apparently not," she said, and I started laughing. "Q, I'm serious."

"Yeah, sure you are," I said between laughs. "Look, I don't know if you were able to pull this off on Brittany or Puck or something so you thought you'd try it on me, but I'm not as gullible as they are."

"Quinn-"

"I do have to give you some credit for putting so much work into it. I mean, you somehow cut my hair, you got everyone to go along with it, you changed the date on my phone...how did you do that, by the way?"

"Okay, I'm gonna say this again; I'm not fucking with you. It's 2012, and we're graduating in less than two months. Nationals is just over a month away. Ask anyone in the school! Well, not about the glee stuff, because no one really cares, but about all the other stuff."

I shook my head. "Okay, I get it. I shouldn't have told Sue about your boob job. You got even, now just drop the act. It's not like you haven't stabbed me in the back before."

Santana grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. "Quinn, I'm not acting! For the last fucking time, this is serious!" She let me go. "Look, I really think you need a doctor or something. This is sort of freaking me out."

I shook my head. Santana was pretty good at bullshitting people, but she seemed serious...like, dead serious. Even she wasn't that good an actress, so I figured there was only one thing to do. I started slapping myself in the face.

"What the fuck?" Santana yelled, trying to grab my hands. "Stop it!"

I shook my head. "This is obviously some weird dream or coma fantasy or something. I just need to wake myself up." I kept slapping myself, but all that was doing was making my head throb more. "Okay, what are the tricks for waking yourself up? Oh yeah, I have to, like, acknowledge that I'm dreaming...but I already did that. Okay...maybe if I blink my eyes really fast, I'll start doing it in real life." I started blinking as fast as I could.

"Would you just stop freaking out!" she yelled at me.

"What, you're allowed to freak out, but I'm not? I'm the one that can't remember anything!"

"Let's just...lets just get you to a doctor or something. Please," she said.

I shook my head. "I hate hospitals. They'll...they'll wanna do surgery or put me in a mental hospital or something."

Santana sighed. "Okay...okay, let's just say that you're right. This is a dream, and none of it's real. If that's true, you can't get hurt, right?"

I sat there for a minute, thinking that over. "That's true, I guess."

"Then you can't get hurt at the doctor's, and if I'm right, then maybe they can make sure you don't have a weird brain tumor or something." I still didn't like the idea, but I nodded along.

"I don't wanna go today, though," I said. "I might still wake up." She started to argue, but I just held my hand up. "Look, if you're gonna force me into a doctor's office, we're doing it my way. Just let me go home for now, and we can go get me checked out tomorrow."

"I'm not letting you drive," she said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine! I'll call my mom to pick me up," I said, and she shook her head. "Why not?"

"She's at work."

"She doesn't have a job."

"Yes she does."

I groaned. "Fine, then what the fuck do you suggest we do? It's not like I can just go to class. I don't know anything about...anything!"

"I don't know, okay!" she yelled. "This isn't exactly something I thought I'd ever have to figure out in my lifetime!" She took a few deep breaths, trying to think of something. "Alright, well, we could tell everyone what's going on."

"And have them all think I'm going crazy? Thanks, but no thanks. I already had to work my ass off to get my rep back after the pregnancy. I don't think I could recover from everyone thinking I'm insane."

Santana shook her head. "Well, unless you want me to fill you in on everything you've missed, I'm out of ideas."

I rolled my eyes. "That has got to be the stupidest..." I drifted off. What if...what if I did have Santana tell me everything? I could try to just play along. If this was a dream, then it would eventually have an end. Maybe just going with the flow would get me there faster. "I think we could-"

"No," she said. "This seems like a really terrible idea."

"I haven't even said my idea yet."

"Yeah, but I know where you're going," she said. "I wish you'd just see a doctor."

"Well, I'm not, so I suggest you just tell me everything before I have to blackmail you."

"What're you gonna do, Fabray?" she asked, an edge in her voice. "Even if you did have any dirt on me, you probably don't remember it."

"Oh really? So everyone knows that the big, bad Santana Lopez sleeps with a stuffed ducky at night?"

Santana just glared at me. "Where do you want me to start?"

"With Sam," I said. "What happened with Sam and me?"

"Oh...he broke up with you for me, and I broke up with him for Karofsky...sort of. We never officially ended things-"

"So you stole my boyfriend?"

"Not exactly," she said. "You were cheating on him with Finn, so it was bound to happen eventually. Then again, he probably wouldn't have found out about that if I hadn't given Finn mono that he then gave to you."

"Wait...just slow down. I got back with Finn? And how did Sam end up with Mercedes?"

"Sam and Mercedes started when they went to prom together as friends with Rachel and Jessie, and-"

"Wait...Jessie came back?" My head was throbbing.

Santana rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay, just let me explain everything before you ask questions, okay?" She went on and went over everyone in the glee club. It was a lot to take in. I stopped her at the end of junior year.

"Okay...give me a second. This just all seems so weird," I said. I mean, it basically made sense, especially the stuff with Finn, considering it had always been my dream to win prom queen, but it was still a lot. I needed to process everything. One thing stuck out in my mind, though. "So...everyone knows about the Lucy thing?"

Santana nodded. "Yeah, and no one cared. In fact, it just made people like you more, since it proved you weren't a robot."

I laughed a little. My middle school years had always haunted me, so it was sort of a relief that it was out in the open. It was one less piece of myself that I had to hide.

"People aren't calling me Lucy or anything, though, right?" If everyone else didn't care, than I didn't either, but I'd always preferred Quinn, so I was hoping that stuck.

"No," Santana said. "Everyone already knew you as Quinn, and you got it legally changed when you turned eighteen, anyway."

I nodded. I'd always planned on doing that. "Okay, you can keep going."

Santana looked at the ground. "Okay...but I'm warning you now...a lot happened over the summer. You changed a lot as a person."

"Okay..." I said, feeling a little wary.

"Well...Sam and Mercedes were inseparable the whole summer, so we all pretty much figured out about them. Kurt's boyfriend Blaine decided that he wanted to try public school again, so he spent the summer convincing his parents to let him transfer to McKinley. It took some convincing, since they didn't like the thought of him chasing after Kurt, but they finally let him do it. Mike and Tina and Puck and Lauren basically just stayed happily together. They still are-"

"Okay, that's all fine and well, but I'm more interested in you and me. What happened there?"

"Well," she said, seeming like she didn't really wanna tell me. "We realized that we have more in common than we thought, and we started hanging out more. We helped each other open up, and you pushed me to come out so I could be with Britt. I did, and we got together."

"Alright," I said. "So fill me in on what's going on with me, now. I figure I should know." Santana sighed and started wringing her hands together in her lap. "Did I kill someone or something? What's so bad that you won't tell me?"

"Oh, it's not bad," she said. "You'll just think it is."

"What is it?" I asked, a little more forcefully.

"Okay...we'll start with your parents. They started talking again right around sectionals this year. Your dad was sober, and he said that he'd changed, and your mom still loved him, so she's giving him another chance. He isn't living with you guys yet, because you don't trust him, and your mother doesn't completely trust him, either, but he hadn't done anything scummy, yet. Plus he's been really cool about you."

"What about me?" I asked. "Did he finally realize that he was a jackass for kicking me out of my home for one stupid mistake?"

She nodded. "Yeah, there's that...and the other thing."

"What other thing?" I asked.

"Okay...this is the thing you might not like. Just promise me that you'll stay calm."

"Get on with it," I snapped out.

"Just promise-"

"Spit it out!" I yelled.

"Fine!" she snapped back "You're dating Rachel!" My eyes went wide. That couldn't be true. It didn't make any sense. I hated Rachel. The only thing we had in common was our taste in boys. She kept talking. "You found her crying in the choir room on the last day of school because she's the reason we lost nationals, and she felt guilty. You comforted her, became her friend, realized you were gay, then realized you were gay for Rachel. You two got together right after she broke up with Finn. That's the short version."

I opened my mouth a few times, trying to say something...something like she was crazy. Something like although everything seemed to have changed, there was no way that I had suddenly gone crazy and fallen for Manhands. There wasn't a snowballs chance in hell that this could be true.

"You...you're so full of crap," I finally said.

"No...no I'm not. You're in love with Rachel Berry. You have been for a while."

I jumped to my feet. "This isn't happening! Everything else...everything else I can deal with. I mean, I was never really into Sam, and I'm happy for Mercedes, and Finn has always just been there for convenience, and Puck was more your thing than mine, but I can't deal with this! I'm gay? I'm with Stubbles?"

"Stop calling her-"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "This isn't...oh, God," I said. "Rachel said something in the bathroom...something about the two of us. Did she...did we..."

"Yeah, Q," Santana said. "You and Berry slept together."

I felt like screaming. "How the fuck did you let me do this!" I said, lunging at her, and she just pushed me away.

"Calm down!" she yelled at me. "God, I forgot what a bitch you were at the beginning of last year. Most of last year, actually."

"I have to break up with her," I said. "There's no way I'm walking around with that man-stealing _thing."_

Santana got right in my face. "You listen to me, Fabray, and you listen good. You...the real you...care about Rachel. She means the world to you. You had to do a lot of shit to get her to trust you, and I'm not letting you ruin this for yourself."

"What am I supposed to do? Walk around, holding her hand? I can't do that, Santana."

"You don't have to," she said. "You guys aren't out yet. You...you were gonna come out today. It was gonna be a surprise for her."

"I..." I wanted to say that I didn't care...that it didn't matter to me what Other Quinn (I refused to think of her as me) had been planning to do, because there was no way that I was going through with whatever she had in mind. I wanted to say that I didn't care if Rachel got hurt. In fact, I sort of took pleasure in her being hurt. But I couldn't say it.

I couldn't say it because it wasn't true. I didn't hate Rachel. I just needed her at the bottom of the heap. I needed everyone to think she was a loser and ugly. I needed everyone to stay away. I hadn't ever really thought about why, and now that Santana was saying all this stuff about Rachel and me...

I certainly didn't want to think about all of this now.

"Just play along," she said. "It'll only be for the rest of the day and glee club. Tell her you're sorry about this morning, then we'll go to the doctors and fix you." I glared at her. "Or wake you up or whatever. Just...don't break up with her okay? All you'll have to do is put up with her for a day."

I sighed. "I'm not kissing her or holding her hand or anything."

"Fine, just tell her something so she won't be all over you, but she won't be a crying mess, okay?" A bell sounded. "Okay, we need to leave. I have a test, and Rachel and Britt are probably freaking out." She started walking out, and I followed.

"Where's the nurse?" I asked, and Santana shrugged.

"Probably off somewhere popping pills," she said. "The nurse we got this year is insane." Santana walked to her locker, and I went to walk to mine, but Santana grabbed my arm. "Talk to Rachel first, alright?"

I snatched my arm away, but still nodded. I walked down the hall, and Rachel was standing at her locker, eyes red and full of tears. I swallowed my guilt and walked up to her.

"Rachel?" I said to her as I walked up. She didn't look at me. "Rachel, will you just listen for a minute?"

"Why should I?" she said, still looking away. "Didn't you tell me to leave you the fuck alone?"

"Do you always swear?" I snapped. "It's not very appealing."

Rachel finally looked at me. "I only do it when I find out the woman I love was just using me for...I don't even know. Was it just because you wanted to break me?"

"Keep your voice down," I said, leaning in closer to her. I caught a whiff of her body spray. It was my favorite. I briefly thought it smelled better on Rachel before I shook my head. "Okay, I'm sorry. This isn't how this was supposed to go. Can we talk somewhere else?"

"I thought you weren't ready to tell people," she said. "But you were just ashamed of me."

"Rachel, I know I've messed you up, but can you please just let me explain?" Rachel just looked at me. I really wanted to do this anywhere but the extremely busy hallway, but I could tell she wasn't gonna go along with that. "My...my head's not quite right at the moment. Last night..." I tried to keep the images of Rachel and me out of my head. "It was awesome, but it just...freaked me out."

"You...you freaked out?" she asked, wiping her eyes.

"Yeah. It's not that it wasn't good, it's just that it was a little fast. I thought you were waiting until 25 or something."

Rachel hung her head. "Quinn, you could've just told me that you wanted to wait."

I sighed. "It's not that I didn't want it. I thought I was ready. I just think we need to take a step back or something. It just came out all wrong this morning, and I had this really bad headache, so I was snappy, but I didn't mean what I said."

Rachel looked bad up at me. "So...you do love me? You meant it when you said it last night?"

"I...I did," I said. I couldn't say the actual words to her. That was Other Quinn's job, not mine. "I just panicked this morning is all."

Rachel looked relieved. "You have no idea how happy that makes me, Quinn." She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and I pushed her away a little bit. She looked confused.

"I just think...we should take a step back," I said. "We're together still and everything but maybe we could be a little less physical for a while." Rachel looked hurt, so I kept talking. "It's not about you. I just need to sort everything out in my head so I don't say anything stupid like I did this morning again."

She smiled a little. "It was pretty stupid."

I nodded. "So I just need a little alone time, alright?"

Rachel nodded. "I was going to sing for you in glee club, but I suppose that won't be appreciated?"

"At least wait until tomorrow," I said. I was hoping my dream, or whatever this was, wouldn't go on that long. "I just need a little time."

She nodded. "Okay. That's fine. I'm just glad we're okay." She leaned forward to hug me, but I backed up a little. She frowned. "I hope it doesn't take you too long to figure everything out."

"Trust me, no one wants to figure this out faster than I do," I said honestly. We looked at each other for a little while awkwardly before I finally spoke up. "Okay, I have class, so I'm gonna go." I waved and hurried off before she could say anything. I didn't go to any of my classes. I went out to my car and laid down in my backseat, trying to wake myself up. It didn't work. I skipped glee club all together and went home, ignoring my mom and dad when they asked me how my day at school was. I went straight to my bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes, and I forced myself to sleep. I hoped that when I opened my eyes, I'd be back to my life.


	3. To The Doctor's

A/N: It's extremely difficult for me to find time to write these days since I don't have a proper computer monitor (I'm currently using my TV that I have to share with three other people), so I apologize for the ridiculously slow updates. Once my computer gets fixed, it'll be better. Just hang in there. I'm also sorry for the length of this chapter. I wanted to write more, but I have no idea the next time I'll be able to write, so I figured this was better than nothing. I hope you like it, and please R&R.

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><p>I woke up the next morning with a groan. My head was pounding like I'd spent the night before binge drinking. I rubbed my temples, hoping the pain would go away, and that helped enough that I could get out of bed without falling over. I walked over to my mirror and looked at myself. My hair was still short, but the more times I looked at it, the more I liked it. That wasn't the only thing that was different about me, though.<p>

My face looked a little bit older, which made sense, considering that I was a year and some older than I remembered myself being. My chest was a little bigger, which I really didn't mind; it was probably just because I wasn't on the Cheerio's diet anymore. I was just glad that I still had my abs. In fact, they were even better than they were before. The biggest change, though, was a few scars that were on my back. There were three or four smaller ones, than a bigger one. They were pretty close together, so I figured they all came from the same thing. I decided I'd have to ask Santana about that later.

I hopped in the shower and got ready for the day; I was sort of hoping that Santana would just forget about going to the hospital (I was starting to think that everything was way too detailed for this to be a dream or coma-fantasy), because they really did terrify me. Besides, if this was all real, then that meant that there was something seriously wrong, and I'd probably have to get surgery or treatment or something. I just hoped it wasn't a tumor.

Right as I was finishing up my hair (seriously, this short hair thing was great; I barely had to do anything to it to make it look good), Santana called my cellphone.

"Yes?" I mumbled out unhappily.

"Let me guess; you were hoping I'd just skip the doctor's, right?" she said, and I could hear the smirk she had on her face.

"More like praying," I said. "I hate hospitals."

"I know," she said. "They're scary and remind you of giving up Beth."

"That-that's not what..." I didn't know what to say. I didn't talk about Beth...ever. In fact, I'd made an effort to avoid Puck so I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings about her. It was only okay to talk about her if it wasn't about anything serious...like my stretchmarks or stuff like that. I never dealt with how giving her up made me feel, and I definitely didn't use her name when I talked about her.

"You okay?" Santana said from the other end. "I'm sorry I brought her up. I forgot that you don't remember dealing with all that stuff. Just trust me when I say that you were happier when you got out all your baggage, okay?"

"When are you picking me up?" I said. I didn't wanna talk about...that.

"See, that's the thing," she said. "You have to pick me up. Are you okay to drive?"

"I'll be fine," I said. "Besides, you can take over once I get to your house. Speaking of that, you never told me where you're living, since you're not at your house."

"Yeah, I'll text the address," she said. "If you're not here in twenty, I'll know you're ditching me, and I'll hunt you down. There aren't a lot of places to hide in Lima." She hung up the phone, and I just shook my head. Santana may have changed in a few ways, but she would always be Santana Fucking Lopez at the end of the day.

I waited a few minutes for Santana to send me the address. Before it came in, I got one from my mom. I nodded my head in approval; my mom had finally learned how to text.

_out w/your dad. hes staying 4 dinner but not overnight. tell me if you need anything for your weekend with everyone. I know youll be at rachels so don't do anything I wouldnt approve of. luv u._

I just rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe my dad was back. I could almost believe my new-found love for Rachel more than I could believe that my dad had changed at all. My dad had never been anything but a drunk, even when we were young and I looked up to him. I'd just been to naïve to know that he was an asshole.

I also thought it was weird that my mom was talking about Rachel. Did she know about us, or was she just gicing the standard 'Don't get into trouble with your friends' speech? Did my dad know about us? I mean, Santana had said something about him being cool with it...sort of. She couldn't have meant that he knew. There was no way he'd changed that much.

Santana finally texted me the address, and I felt like I knew it. I just chalked it up to something sticking from the stuff I couldn't remember, but when I got to the house, I knew I'd been there before I lost my memories. I just couldn't place it. I walked up to the door and knocked.

I wasn't expecting Rachel to answer the door.

"Hello, Quinn!" she said with a smile. I couldn't say anything back. She was wearing a wife beater and the shorts that she'd worn during our funk number. I opened and closed my mouth a few times while blatantly checking her out. It was like I couldn't control myself.

"Wha...why...Santana...why are you here?" I finally managed to get out.

Rachel just giggled a little. "Good to know you still find me attractive." My eyes snapped from her chest to her face. "Santana mentioned you were coming over. If she'd given me more than a two minute notice, I would've dressed up a little, but it seems that wasn't necessary, considering you can't even speak properly right now. And to answer your question, my dance class got canceled."

I just nodded. She hadn't really answered what I was trying to ask, but I wasn't even sure of what I was trying to get out, because seriously, Rachel's legs were _really _distracting.

"Is she here?" I asked, looking at anything but Rachel. I had to be going crazy. I'd never looked at her like this. Well, yeah, I'd observed on more than one occasion that she had nice legs, but she was always wearing those skirts. You'd have to be blind not to notice them. And there had been times when we'd been fighting that I'd had not entirely pure thoughts about her, but that didn't mean anything. Fighting...it got your blood rushing...whatever, I was still calling this whole Rachel thing insanity.

"She's getting ready," she said. "What're you guys doing, anyway? Isn't everyone coming over later? Something about a Halo tournament or something?"

"Call of Duty," Santana said, coming downstairs. "And maybe some Mario once Puck throws a fit about us not backing him up and refuses to play anymore."

"Are you almost ready?" I said, and she nodded.

"Don't get your panties in a twist," she said back, then she turned to Rachel. "We're just picking some stuff up from the store. Chips and stuff."

"But we have chips," Rachel said. "You guys could just stay." She looked at me. "We could cuddle on the couch until everyone comes over."

I was tempted to take her up on that offer.

"I think I'd rather throw myself off the roof than deal with watching you two drool over each other more than I absolutely have to."

Rachel groaned. "You don't have to be in the same room."

"We won't be gone long," Santana said. "You can dance or something while we're gone, since your lesson got canceled and everything."

Rachel though about it for a minute. "I guess you have a point. I mean, I've already far surpassed what my class has to offer, but I'd hate to fall behind."

"Cool," Santana said, walking out of the house. "Let's go, Q!"

I went to leave, but Rachel grabbed my arm. I looked at her.

"Are you feeling better about everything?" she asked. I wanted to tell her that I was still freaking out, now even more so because I was having all these feelings that weren't there before. Well, they sort of were, but not like this. Still, she looked so hopeful.

"Yeah, I'm a lot better," I said, and she smiled. I couldn't help but smile a little, too. "I think I just needed a little time to process everything."

"That's understandable," she said. "I mean, a lot happened that night. You needed time." We stood there for a little bit before she pulled me into a hug. I hugged back. This wasn't the first time I'd hugged Rachel. In fact, she was pretty touchy-feely with everyone she really cared about, so I wasn't shocked.

In fact, I wasn't even shocked that it gave me a warm feeling being wrapped in her arms like this. I'd never thought about that before...I'd never thought about any of this before, but now that we were...together...it was forcing me to look at our entire relationship differently. These were all probably small revelations that I'd had over time, and now, they were all coming at once. It was overwhelming. I pulled back, fulling intending on walking to the car, but Rachel pulled me into a kiss.

Now that...that was shocking.

My first instinct was to pull away, but she just tightened her grip, and before I knew it, I was kissing her back. It wasn't what I was used to...all the boys I'd ever kissed had shoved their tongues down my throat. Rachel was a lot more patient and a lot less sloppy. It was...well, Finn always said that a good had you seeing fireworks. If that was true, I was seeing an A-bomb behind my eyelids kissing Rachel. It was amazing and everything a kiss should be and terrifying all wrapped up into one. She finally pulled back (which I was glad for, because I needed to breathe, but I couldn't get myself to pull away), and gave me a quick peck on the tip of my nose.

"Never freak me out like you did in the bathroom yesterday, okay?" I could hear the waver in her voice, and I couldn't help but pull her into another hug before letting go and running to my car.

"I see you're getting yourself reacquainted with Rachel," Santana said with a little laugh.

"Shut up," I snapped. "This is confusing enough without you being a giant bitch."

"Calm down, Lezzie. I guess I owe Brittany a ten spot."

"Why?" I asked.

"I said you'd be all over Rachel again by the end of the weekend. She said it wouldn't take that long."

I scoffed. "First of all, this was supposed to only between the two of us, and second of all, I'd barely say I was all over her. She kissed me. That's it."

"Okay, I tell Britts everything, and she may have started the kiss, but you didn't exactly push her away."

"Santana, just leave it alone."

She sighed as she started driving to the hospital. "Look, I know that you have a lot of things to sort through again, but I think it would be easier for you and everyone else if you just accepted the fact that you're head-over-heels in love with Rachel Berry."

"I can't," I said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not!" I yelled. "Could you just shut up!"

"Fine!" she yelled back. We spent the rest of the ride to the hospital ride in silence. It wasn't until we got there that I opened my mouth again.

"Why didn't we just go to Lima General?" I asked.

"And run into my dad? No thanks. I haven't seen him since I moved into Rachel's"

"Wait," I said. "You live with Rachel?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Brittany's house was too crowded, and you had all your drama with your dad coming back, so Rachel offered to take me in, and I accepted. That was right around sectionals."

"Okay," I said. "One more question: how did I get the scars on my back?"

Santana laughed a little. "My parents kicked me out in a hurry, so I didn't have any of my stuff. You and Rachel decided I needed it, so you snuck in while she waited with the car outside. I guess my dad caught you in my room while you were getting the last of the stuff, and you jumped out the window and landed on your back on some rocks."

"Isn't your room on the second floor?" I asked.

"The doctor said it was a miracle that you didn't break anything or get paralyzed or something by the way you landed." She laughed again, and I smacked her arm.

"I almost die for you and all you can do is laugh at me?" She laughed more. "What?"

"That's exactly what you said the first time around!" she said. "God, Q, you're so predictable."

I just rolled my eyes as we walked into the hospital. As soon as I stepped foot inside, my stomach dropped.

"I really hate this," I said.

"You'll be fine," she said. "At least after this, you'll know why you're all messed up in the head. Well, you'll know why you're memories gone."

I smacked her again. I took a deep breath and walked up to the receptionist's desk...


End file.
